Uncertainty is one of the many words that I hate. It’s not because I’m afraid of the future, it’s the fact that I’m afraid of the unknown. I believe, to some degree, everyone is afraid of the unknown. Why do we feel the fear when we wander into the dark? Why do all the horror movies and books mention dark places? It’s not the absence of light that haunts us, it’s the inability to see, and, therefore, the unknown that makes us afraid.
I know that life cannot be predictable. If it is, it loses the soul of it. We are expected to appreciate the uncertainty of life. We are expected to expect the unexpected, and just deal with whatever comes up in my life. Looking back, I can think of many situations that I would have loved to avoid. But I couldn’t have. I hadn’t known they were coming. So what’s the point of being afraid? What’s the point of wasting time thinking of the uncertainty?
Despite knowing that being afraid of the future is a plain waste of time, my mind can’t seem to help it. It’s 2.30 am and I can’t seem to make myself go to sleep. Why? I’m afraid of something. What am I afraid of? Oh, I wish I knew.
I really wish I knew.